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  • Elijah Ricks

10 Reasons I Wish I Were 6 Months Old

Yes, Avey reached the 6 Month Mark this week. She’s still full of surprises, and gets cuter every day, as you can track from the pictures. As I was holding her today, I thought of a few reasons I am jealous of her age. Here they are in no particular order:

1. I could comfortably reach my big toe to my mouth; not that I would ever actually stick it in there, I’d just like to be able to without tearing several muscles and their respective ligaments. Observe my daughter:

3. I’d like it to be cute to have bald spots and thinning hair that just won’t behave. Notice the following:

5. I would absolutely love to get 12 hours of sleep (sometimes more) every day! I cannot express how much better I could function if I got encouraged to nap, cuddled up in a warm blanket, laid down in my very own bed, and left alone with a mobile of brightly colored insects rotating around my head playing the same 20 second tune over and over again. Talk about paradise!

6. Four words: 5 Meals Every Day! I’m lucky if I get two solid meals in on a daily basis. Don’t forget either; all she gets is dairy. It’s like her entire diet consists of cheesecake and ice cream.

7. No obligations. No bills to pay, no debt, no deadlines, no expectations. She works at her own pace and if we push her beyond what she wants to do, she just whines a little bit and gets what? Another meal or a nap!

8. No need to be polite. All the unwritten social rules go out the window. If she wants to drool down her dress, nobody looks at her funny. If she wants to turn red loading up her diaper while six people are looking on, she’s got full license to do so. Doesn’t matter if we’re out on a walk, at a restaurant, or at a wedding reception. She does what she feels like.

9. She’s happy with the simple things. All she needs is a nap, full tummy, and something (and I mean anything) to chew on. It could be a finger, a book, a piece of lint she found on the floor, her very own toe, etc. This is all she needs to be fully content.

10. And finally, I would love to get an entirely new wardrobe every two weeks. I have some shirts I still wear that are six years old. I’m not kidding: six. The saddest part is some of you have probably thought I should have gotten rid of them three years ago. Well, at least I don’t drool down the front of them… too much.

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