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  • Writer's pictureElijah Ricks

Ahh… the Joys of Moving

Warning: the following statement has been flagged with level 4 sarcasm. This rating of sarcasm is considered unsafe for those with humor impairments, women who are nursing or pregnant or who may become pregnant, and any member of the Vulcan race (see Star Trek nerds for details).

You know, moving may just be the greatest thing in the world. First, you get to take a careful inventory of everything you own, separate it, categorize it by size, shape, weight, and order in which you use it. Such a delight!

Next you get to pack all of that into cardboard boxes, labeling them all the while, and finding a place to stack them until the actual moving day comes. The rapture of it all!

Then comes the best part: the actual move. You get to haul all of your friends (soon to be former friends) and family over to your place (we baited ours with doughnuts) and get them to heft all of your worldly possessions to another dwelling. Our situation was particularly enjoyable because we went from a third floor to a third floor so that we could get an extra good work out on our knees. Does the magic never end?

After burning several hundreds of thousands of calories, your stuff is in your new place… somewhere. That’s where you finally end the game by undoing all of your categorizing and packing and making a big mess of the new place! Could it get any better? The answer is no, it could not.

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