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Such Sweet Sorrow
Today I came home from work to find our fish, Jeffery, lying lifeless on the pebbles of his bowl. I always thought dead fish float, but what’re you going to do? We had him about a year and a half; he survived a move, several days staying with my siblings, two sometimes pushy frog neighbors, and a rough bacterial infection that nearly took an eye. Here are some other highlights of Jeffery’s life:
Circa January 22, 2008: successfully hatches from egg and attends his first family reunion in the same day – to this day he does not remember all of his siblings’ names
February 1, 2008: makes no attempt whatsoever to potty train
February 14, 2008: frightens off another male – the betta fish version of sending a female a valentine
March 23, 2008: scrapes knee during horseplay and learns valuable lesson
June 30, 2008: sentence of solitary confinement is transferred to pet store
August 13, 2008: hired as decoration for human wedding – paid in workspace and pellets
August 15, 2008: announces retirement from decoration business
August 20, 2008: moves in with Ricks family
August 28, 2008: acquires roommate – African Dwarf Frog named “Ursula”
September 9, 2008: quickly learning the tricks of a roommate, Jeffery steals Ursula’s food
October 31, 2008: dresses as “fish” for Halloween
December 12, 2008: sets personal record for biggest bubble nest
March 2, 2009: swims around bowl counter-clockwise, just for a change
August 20, 2009: celebrates 1 year with the Ricks’ by binging on bloodworms
January 20, 2010: marks 1000th successful voyage to other side of decorative flower
September 25, 2010: survives Ricks’ move – slight change of scenery outside of bowl
October 21, 2010: comes down with bacterial infection
November1, 2010: recovers from infection, realizes frailty of life
November 4, 2010: disturbed to learn that so-called Ursula was really a dude – gains a female African Dwarf Frog roommate
February 28, 2011: completes memoirs
March 14, 2011: peacefully passes to the next world, is honored in traditional flushing ceremony
You know, maybe my life isn’t so depressing after all.
Avey actually cried when she learned of Jeffery’s death. It lasted about 3 minutes, and then I asked if she thought she would like another betta fish. She was ecstatic at that thought, and has already decided she wants a red one this time. Kind of makes me wonder how she’ll mourn my death in 60-80 years; “Aww… that’s so sad… Bowling anyone?”