The Darn Hand
A couple of weeks ago, as I was struggling to come up with new ways to keep the breakfast routine exciting for her majesty, I thought I’d try one of the oldest daddy tricks in history. It’s been known by several names through the ages: “the Claw,” for example; I’m pretty sure Plato referred to it as an “animal spirit hand.” In any case, I tried it. I would bring Avey her food, cut it up into small bites, and then my left hand became suddenly possessed – its only purpose to find and exploit Avey’s most ticklish ribs. It caught her off guard, as it intended, and I naturally had no control over it, but was able to subdue it with some effort with my right hand. After another few attacks, Avey quickly learned that she needed to keep an eye out for what she has come to call “The Darn Hand.” The Darn Hand has become quite popular since its first appearance, and Avey often solicits its antics.
A few days ago, I wanted to quiz Avey again on her left and right, just to keep it fresh. I pointed to her right hand and said, “Avey, which hand is this?” She said, “This is my darn hand,” and then proceeded to tickle herself with her right hand while trying to overpower it with her left hand. She eventually succeeded.
In another strange turn of events, her uncle and aunt who live nearby have also recently developed darn hands. We may soon have a localized epidemic.
In other news, my dear wife gave me a day off yesterday, taking Avey for a long walk in the morning so I could sleep in and then exercise. I had forgotten how amazing it feels to wake up when my body is ready to. For the past few weeks I have been commuting all over southern Colorado for my job as a consultant for a research firm, and I often get home quite late. The driving also wears me out, so it was very nice to get to do a little self care. It’s so nice to have a caring spouse!
Also, as of yesterday, I am going to see Muse! I can’t tell you how excited I am for that – they’re probably my favorite current band, and I missed a chance to see them about 3 years ago. I’m counting down the days!